The Amazing Spiderman 2: Swing and... miss

I nearly puked in excitement when "The Amazing Spiderman" came out in 2012, because I'd developed a mini crush on Garfield, the guy from The Social Network, & Emma Stone. And after waiting in nail-biting anticipation for nearly two years, the 10th of April 2014 finally arrived.

AT LAST, "The Amazing Spiderman 2" (TAS2) had. Been. Released. *cue dramatic music*

But amazing, was SO not how it turned out to be. Which is sad, because Andrew Garfield has got to be my favourite Spidey. Tobey McGuire made a brilliant nerdy Peter Parker, but Garfield delivers that teenage angst to Peter Parker more than perfectly. In fact, I'm going to take this chance to fangirl & say what a fiiiiine looking Spidey Andrew Garfield makes. 

ASDFAGFJHGADHFJGAHFGAH. Andrew, I sure as hell wouldn't mind getting tangled up in your web. 

Anyways- putting Garfield's brown doe eyes aside momentarily, I'm going to admit there were more things that irked me during the movie, instead of tingling my spider senses in excitement. Let's countdown-

7) Electro the villain, flies. Electro, flies. HOW ON EARTH does Electro FLY?!! Um, hello, the dude's been electrocuted. I repeat- electrocuted. So technically, that doesn't give him any reason to suddenly possess flying powers. Clearly the screenwriters didn't think this through.

6) A fragmented, choppy plot. Richard Parker dies, & the next thing you know, Max Dillon gets electrocuted. And then Gwen & Peter kiss because she's leaving for Oxford. No link between scenes. And when Peter fiiiinally (nope, he's not exactly the brightest star in the sky) discovers what Parker Sr. has been hiding all this while, there's a feeling of... disappointment. No "Whoa" moment; no punch. It falls flat. 

5) Underdeveloped villains. You don't really see Harry Osborn's friendship with Peter register, in their screen time- in fact, it rarely shows. And this is one of the most significant things in their alter-ego's rivalry. As for Electro, I still don't get why he wants to kill Spidey, because, Jamie Foxx doesn't deliver or display that depth to his character. What a waste.

4) There's Caesar Salad, & now, there's Villain Salad. That said, way TOO MANY villains in the film: Electro, Harry/Green Goblin (who I found to be handsome in a geeky way), Rhino. Oh, & Peter Parker's nagging conscience telling him to veer away from Gwen. It's just that Rhino's appearance at the last scene seemed as if Marc Webb had thrown him in as a last thought, just for the sake of it. Pathetic. 

3) The disconnect between Jamie Foxx & his character, Electro- there's no emotional connection in his transformation from a geeky loner to a blue-eyed terror to make an impact, unlike Green Goblin/Willem Dafoe did in the earlier Spiderman movies. Instead, it's a whole lot of snarling, swinging, & punching. As much as I like Foxx, I felt that this casting just didn't fit him. 

2) A lack of shirtless scenes involving Andrew Garfield. In fact, you know what? I think this should be joint #1. At least let us females indulge in a little thigh or abs show, Marc Webb. Don't deprive us of such glorious things. 

1) THEY KILLED GWEN. THEY KILLED GWEN. Gwen dies. GWEN, dies. OH.MY.GOD. That, is unforgivable, Spidey & Stan Lee. Never have I cried this much in a cinema before. My popcorn was practically drowning in a pool of tears that had flowed into the popcorn box. I'm sorry, but what is it with Comic book creators with killing their characters?! First Archie, & now Gwen, Spidey's girlfriend. This is sick. And has led me to believe that all comic-book creators are sadists. 

That look of shock when you know what's coming. I feel your pain, Gwen. Even I wanted to hurl something at Peter Parker in frustration at this point.

SO, Marc Webb, pointers for The Amazing Spiderman 3: firstly, reincarnate Gwen Stacy, because no one cares about MJ. Really. If you dare cast Shailene Woodley as Mary-Jane, I will fly over, hunt you down in Hollywood & hit you. She doesn't look the part, plus she's too tall. -_- Secondly, stop overindulging on the number of villains. Jeez. And thirdly, have a sturdier plot. Spidey can jump all he wants, but if his relationships with other villains etc. don't register, then it's a waste of time. Because boy oh boy, did your movie get really tangled up in its own web this time.