What "Professor" Facebook taught me

(Caution: this will be a long post, as I'm in one of my ranting moods. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

Who knew that Facebook could teach people such lessons? 

The world has become so globalised and digital, that sometimes, I'm left dumbfounded. (Hello, Google contact lenses, anyone?). But nowadays, everything is expressed on Facebook. WHAT HAPPENED TO SELF CONTROL AND KEEPING THINGS TO YOURSELF, PEOPLE???!!!

For example- if one is pregnant, one will immediately post a photo of the soon-to-come, or morning sickness. If one is drunk, or going out to a party, one will immediately post up photos of them either in hangover mode, or hammered (i.e. completely trashed) mode. Complete with duck-face selfies, no less.

*Facepalm*

Um, excuse me. But I- & actually- everyone else- have ABSOLUTELY NO interest in seeing your vomit digitally spattered all over my computer screen, thank you very much.

Everybody's on Facebook now. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. Just a small, small handful of people that I know have taken the road less traveled, & chosen not to have an account. And I applaud them. Because now I know how irritating and mindless Facebook can be.

I admit it- I was sucked into the world of Facebook a few years ago. It started off my getting in touch with long lost friends, and then just like everyone else, I too started posting up random status updates. Was it in a bid for people to like me? Maybe, maybe not. But I did get  a lot of 'likes' for them. :D

So moving on, there's a 'like' button on Facebook.

I think there should also be one called 'I don't care', or 'I just don't give a crap'. Because the number of people whom I've clicked 'Stop following' or 'stop receiving notifications from this person' during these past few years is unbelievable. 

Nowadays, I feel that the line between your 'Facebook life', and your private life is heavily, heavily blurred. Everyone feels that they need to impress others- & I don't blame them. If you're surrounded by so many people (or their digital persona, at least), you do feel the automatic urge to try & impress them, or fit in, really. It's part of human nature and desire to fit in and feel accepted.

Allright- accepted into WHAT, may I ask? And that's where Facebook has taught me a couple of lessons, & I'm going to share some tips/experience with you:

1) There's no compulsion for you AT ALL, to 'like' people's photos they upload, or comment on them. Even if that friend of yours asks you why you didn't like their photo, tell them "Because I didn't want to". The more you 'like' people's stuff doesn't necessarily mean that you are going be liked for it. If I see something I find pleasing (within certain boundaries), I'll 'like' it. If I don't, I won't. Love me for it, hate me for not/doing so, I don't care. It's THAT SIMPLE.

2)  Keep. Your. Private. And. Facebook. Life. Separate. Write this on a piece of paper, & make it your daily mantra. Nobody's interested in whether you thought that the guy who jumped the queue in front of you in Starbucks is a "piece of s*** and a***** "; I wasn't there, neither were your 800-something Facebook friends who experienced it. It happened to YOU, & what are your FB friends going to do about it? Nothing. So shut up, and keep it to yourself.

3) SPARE ME and other people the emotional, woe-is-me and I'm-so-depressed-these-days saga. Cat died? I feel your condolences. Instead of burying him, why are you on Facebook?! Also, if you upload a pointless, MEANINGLESS status whereby you express all your emotions without mentioning the reason behind your mood, then don't write anything at all. People will either bombard you with questions, or ignore you. Me? I'll choose the second option.  I simply do not care that you "Just ate an amazing burger", or are "stuck in the toilet for an hour". FB is not a portal where you share every little, banal thing about your life.

4) Oh, you bought a new dress? Another one, a week later? Great! Wear it, and don't publish a status update about it. Since WHEN do you need OTHERS' APPROVAL, to dictate whether you look good or don't? I dress like a slob, but I don't post that on FB. And even if I were to get all primped-up for a dinner, I still wouldn't post a selfie just to garner likes. You come off as an attention-seeker, & I've started detesting you already. 

5) Unless you wanna be punched, QUIT #hashtagging #yourpostslikethis. #Facebook #isnt #twitter. You #ontheotherhand , #are a #moron. 

6) There's the fear of missing out. Research has shown that the longer one spends on FB, the higher the chances that they'll become depressed. 

It shouldn't ever be like this. EVER. 

So log out, stop comparing yourself, & go out and take a walk. Read. Play football. Do anything, but no Facebook. I'm always amazed at the power that a digital, virtual platform has over others, & when you think about it, it's humans running the whole show. Humans are shaping FB according to others. :-/

6) Keep your PDA with your loved one OFF the social media- especially FB. There have been so many cases where people's photos have been stolen, photoshopped, and been circulated virally around the web- only to cause shame and embarrassment to the uploader. I have nothing against people sharing the love, & I know you want to let your loved one know how much you value them- why don't you privately inbox them instead of writing a full 1-page status update & letting everyone read it? Because too much soppiness = I'm going to start vomiting. 

7) You don't NEED to change your relationship status on FB. Who's telling you to? Mark Zuckerberg? Wrong. YOU are. Why? Is a marriage certificate or a solid healthy physical relationship not solid proof already? As I told my friend one day, Facebook is NOT a translation of my personal life. Okay? Good. Now read that last line again and again, till you get sick of it. 

8) There's no fixed mould for beauty/success/ or brains, & you don't have to please everybody you meet. So keep that green-eyed monster under control. Jealousy is a horrible, horrible thing. Sadly, many people get caught up in this web of jealousy, due to the sheer number of others posting things about their personal lives. Instead, appreciate what you have & you're blessed with, and be thankful. Not all of us can be like Jane Doe who's now married to a millionaire & lives in a sprawling mansion in Ibiza; I thought I was getting complexes upon seeing my friends doing such exciting things, & then I stopped & slapped myself; they're not worth it. 

9) Reality becomes distorted on FB sometimes. 'Others can't see me, so let's just play around'- is what many people think. Well, just because you upload or were tagged in a flattering photo doesn't necessarily suggest to others, that you're happy. Just tell yourself that you won't allow yourself to get caught up in others' expectations and unnecessary pressures.Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Because it really is.

9) Family on FB? One word- EW. Conservative relatives are everywhere, & so are busybodies (this extends to friends too). I myself have gotten into hot water over many of my own posts & stuff I'd been tagged in, so do yourself a favour & put them on limited profile. (Sorry, people.)

Yet despite my above rants, FB isn't such a bugger. After all, we've re-connected with so many of our friends and family who're scattered all over the world, & it feels great to stay in touch- & remember, this was ideally, FB's initial & primary aim. 

But I feel that I've blurted out enough for one day. The main point is, don't let FB rule your life; it isn't your life. 

Until next time! Cheers :D